10 Most Nonsense Luv Songs

When someone is in love, he may like to express it in everything. Girls usually dress in pink, suddenly they wanna do diet, and they put their boyfriends’ picture inside their wallets. But I’m not like that, though my feeling may be as romantic as theirs at the moment. Instead limiting food, I’ve just been doing food testing too much coz I trap myself in cooking experiments. The photo inside my wallet is still my picture, not yet the picture of me and my hunk (coz of technical reason, I see my cell’s wallpaper more often than my wallet). And I hate pink. I don’t know, briefly I’m not that romantic. Probably coz I’m grown up.

So it confuses me why fools in love can create masterpieces about love. I try to express it by writing for my blog, but my brain is stuck in writing any romantic things. I try to hunt inspirations by scanning my mp3 playlist to play love songs, but I only get the truth that most of love songs talk about cheesy things.

So here I write this, 10 most nonsense love songs. I wonder what possessed those people as they wrote these, how come they got so hyperbolic. Love seem made them couldn’t think to create rational songs. And I’m curious that one of the followed songs is your favorite.

1. I wanna lay you down on a “Bed of Roses”.

Don't wanna sleep on this bed. It itches. Photo from http://honeymoons.about.com

I’m glad I’m not the girl of Jon Bon Jovi who sang this. It’s romantic, but I prefer sleeping in a bed with a warm plain sheet, instead too many pillows or even scattered by roses. Those roses can make me itch, especially if there’s any caterpillar among.

2. Everything I do, “I Do It for You”. Are you sure, Bryan Adams? Everything? Shower for whom? Eat for whom? Sleep for whom? Is it not for our own good?

3. I don’t wanna close my eyes, I don’t wanna fall asleep, coz I miss you, babe.. that’s what Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler said in “I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing”. This man absolutely had chronic insomnia coz they didn’t wanna sleep. I don’t know whether you have a man like this or not. This is not kinda my man, coz each time me and my hunk have just embraced each other, he was always the one who got tired first and fell asleep.

4. “I Knew I Loved You” before I met you, this is Savage Garden’s Darren Hayes’ quote, which I believe as a total bullsh*t. I never believe in love at first time, so how can you fall earlier before you ever meet her? Hayes seemed own too much crush on girls of add random in Facebook.

5. “I Swear” by the moon and the stars in the sky, I’ll be there, said All 4 One. This is a lost song leading for polytheism. People should make a vow in the name of God, instead in the name of immortal. *religious wannabe MODE : ON*

6. “Kiss the Rain”, whenever you need me. Kiss the rain, whenever I’m gone too long..

Don't try this for yourself. It makes you catch flu. And it ruins your shoes.

This Billie Myers’ number is my favorite, but the lyric is such a crap. If I miss my baby and I just throw myself into the rain, I may catch a cold..

7. “Please Don’t Let this Moment End”, by Gloria Estefan. You can’t kiss him all that long non-stop. Once the stroom will be off and you’ll run out of breath. How many seconds are you able to hold a kiss without taking a breath? 30? 45?

8. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be “Right Here Waiting” for you, said Richard Marx. It’s a lie, especially if the song’s applied for guys who waiting for their ladies shopping. Men always grouse if their girls wander around malls for shoes, or getting in and out stores without buying any. Though men’s job is only carrying the purchase..

9. I can’t live if living is “Without You”, by Air Supply. I’ve been occupied in a long distance relationship, and I’ve awared that I must be able to shower, eat, work, though my honey ain’t by my side. All I just can’t do is, living a day without hearing my honey saying I-luv-you to me.

10.  “Your Body is A Wonderland” is John Mayer’s number which makes me shaking unbelievable. I’ve heard a lot that girls have body like Spanish guitar, but I just don’t get it how a girl can be as same as Disneyland. Your hip shakes like a merry-go-round, your eyes welcome like a Snow White’s house, and your lips take me higher than a roller-coaster.

So, I’m not a romantic person. I can’t be expected to believe in every craps mentioned in each verse of those songs. I hope my hunk doesn’t sack me of this. Coz if I have a man, I’ll love him totally, and a thousand of love songs won’t be able to express how much I love him.

Simply Talk

Do you prefer voice-calling or just texting? Do you prefer writing e-mails or just instant messaging? Each person has their own preferences and there are gotta be reasons for them.

SMS teaches us how to speak simply. Photo from http://2as1.net

A colleague of mine, let’s call her name Margaret, told me that each time she dialed the number of her friend Thierry (and again, this is not a real name), he never answered. And Margaret had to text Thierry about what she wanted. Well, Thierry always replied her text. Margaret didn’t like it coz texting only contained short messages (that’s why they call it SMS: short messaging service. If you write it long, it’s gotta be LMS: long messaging service). It didn’t satisfy Margaret, coz she couldn’t express her mind completely. She only could speak much more if she spoke by phone.

So Margaret demanded Thierry, “Why do you always just reply me by text if I ring you up?”

Then Thierry answered her, “So you get used to say something brief efficiently!”

* * *

Ever since people influenced me to tweet last year, I still haven’t found a way to make my fellas join Twitter. They prefer writing status in Facebook to Twitter. It’s a simple reason, when they update their status at Facebook, you can write as much as you can (which I think it’s really time-wasteful. If you wanna write much, just write it down in a blog, so you get much more reader to hear you). But in Twitter, you only can speak up to 140 characters only, not more. What a meanie (?)

But I think, Twitter is so effective to teach me expressing my mind efficiently. Coz I’m a talkative, I speak like a chatterbox, I can’t talk in short sentences. Sometimes writing a daily blog can be a trouble for me, coz there’s too much things to write down, but I’m scared that my article will be too long and it’ll bore my readers. Until today, I always try to obey my private ethic code, never write an article contained more than 5000 characters. It’s a thing that I almost never do, except for some articles which are special enough for me.

So I admire those who can write blog only in one sentence or two, but they can inspire lotta people to comment. The secret tip may be simple, just put a photo in the article, coz usually picture talks more than texts. Once I tried it, but photo essay doesn’t works for my style.

Tuitwit. Photo from http://3bp.blogspot.com

Well, a few days ago, a friend of mine who’s crazy about social networks got a new toy named Tuitwit.com. This is still another partner network of Twitter, where we can tweet without login to Twitter. There are two features that I love from the Tuitwit, one of them we can check whom that we’ve been following and never follow us back. (LOL..dear purposeful tweepsies, eat this!). The second one is a feature for direct messaging, and the fun thing is, a direct message can be written more than 140 characters. Yippie!

So recent days I’ve been direct messaging my Twit-pal with messages which length is more appropriate to be sent via e-mail. Even I don’t think I would send SMS that long. It’s satisfied coz I can talk much. Though my friend thought, some of my messages are interrupted, coz he read my direct messages from TweetDeck. But the e-mail notifications from Twitter which he received for my direct messages, wrote my messages completely uninterrupted.

Then I think, this may be not right. If we don’t get used to speak anything briefly in 140 characters, probably for lifetime we’ll always be verbiage.

I should suggest House of Representatives to learn to tweet. It’s been weeks I watched their court, and I’m bored coz each person always raise verbiage questions. Each time they only wanted to ask about a point, it always took too much time for prologue. No wonder the interrogated guests always looked like wanna cry. Probably they didn’t understand exactly what the long questions are about, “What da heck are you exactly trying to ask??”

You may comment anything. Short comments or long ones are allowed. But, please, be simple..

Grass is Not Always Greener

A friend of my mom wrote, that she lived in Guangzhou, and she couldn’t join Facebook. Coz, Facebook had been already banned there.

I don’t know exactly what the banning is about, but I contemplate that I’ve never seen any Facebookers from China. More accurately, that ever since Friendster was still booming, I never saw any users from China. Doesn’t Chinese love social networks?

Then last week, I read that Google seem was gonna stop their site’s operation in China, since Chinese government has let its hackers hacking the Gmail accounts of Chinese citizens. Correlating to the lack of social network at China above, I can understand why Chinese never seems wandering around in Facebook. How can they have any Facebook account comfortably if someone hacks their e-mail account? What’s being good of having an e-mail account if someone can split it up? I never allow my parents opening my e-mail, how can I let anyone called “government” read my private mails?

Cartoon by David Horsey, picture by http://seattlepi.com

This issue has been so last-year, I’m not competent enough to read about emasculating of this kinda sophisticated technology. But an e-mail woke me up this morning and astonished me.

I wrote about the conflict between my country and Malaysia a few months ago in my old blog. It’s been so long and I almost forgot that I wrote it. But this morning a Malaysian from Ipoh sent me his comment and I got an interesting point from his reaction.

It’s true, Malaysia’s government has stolen Ambalat Block from Indonesia and claimed it, but it’s never been exposed in Malaysian mass media coz Malaysia’s press is demanded not to write about things which insults its governance. In fact, there are a lotta issues in Malaysia which mustn’t be written by its own media, such as for example a Mongolian girl named Altantuya Shariibuu which murdered cruelly coz she’s became a Malaysian high officer’s concubine, and also the mystery about sodomy to Anwar Ibrahim. Their government’s been hiding it for so long, made people knew nothing about it. Malaysian citizen don’t seem to know that their access to know information about their country’s politic crisis have been limited.

Cartoon from http://sloone.files.wordpress.com

Both of those countries make me feel pity coz citizens’ human right to express their opinion seem locked tight there. I thank that I was born as a citizen of Indonesia, where I don’t need to hide to have any Gmail account and I’m allowed to notice that sometimes government can make mistake. It’s true that there’s a few ulcers in some spots, such as there’s still banning on a few books which seem abusing government, but at least there’s no banning on vocal newspapers or tapping to e-mail accounts.

China may rise with its rocket which has flown to outer space. Malaysia may be rich coz they can buy oil in any prices that they want to. But if to be like them then citizen mustn’t express their critical polite opinion comfortably, I think those welfare and those greatness doesn’t mean a thing.

Indonesian says, “rumput tetangga selalu lebih hijau”, neighbour’s grass is always greener. It means, other people always own better stuffs. But what a heck if the grass is green but the root is rotten. Trust me, the grass is not always greener over there.

Those Annoying Humphers

OK, this is still a form of accusation. But I’m curious that my neighbours have tuberculosis a.k TB. And I’m a physician, but I can’t help it.

So here’s the story begins. Next to my house, which has been empty for years, is being renovated. Dunno who the new owner is. At the moment, there are just handymen only.

Well, each time I pass the house by, I’ve always heard someone coughs. The cough’s type ain’t typical miserable such us like “uhuk..uhukk..”, but it’s humph type such us like “ehem..ehem..”

Once or twice, it didn’t make a problem. I thought it was someone had caught a common bronchitis. But moreover, the humphers aren’t only one, but there have been two, even may be three. So if I pass by, there’s gotta be someone makes “ehem..” then followed by another one, “ehem..” then joined by someone else, “Ehem!”

It’s strange, coz I only hear those humph when I pass by. If I’m at my own house, I never hear those handymen cough. So I’m confused!

Even a tuberculosis dog deserves to be treated. Photo by http://johnwade.com

Honestly, if there’s only one person coughs, it’s not a big deal. But if two people or three cough in the same house, that will be a problem. Especially those people have been humphing for long time, probably it’s been three months or more. And they are so skinny. I’ve seen some of them smoking at the house’s yard. Those symptoms are really typical like clinical symptoms of a TB patient!

I wonder, why they don’t seek for help. Don’t they know that their neighbours are doctors? Our family puts no board name at house, coz we don’t intend our house to make a medical clinic. But if they just ask for help, at least a medical recommendation letter for X-Ray photo, we can help them. It’s miserable if they really suffer from TB but they’re not treated.

And it’s weird that, last week, a friend of mine visited me at my house, and then me and him were going out and walking, passed the renovated house. I tried to keep my ears, but I didn’t hear any humph, though I knew that those handymen were there. Was it coz they thought that I was dating with my boyfriend? Well, then what’s the correlation between assumes that the lady was dating with her boyfriend, and the sudden-relieving cough? Should I never pass by that house all alone, except my boyfriend accompanies me?

Coz it’s really annoying. I wanna call police coz I feel being abused. But I wonder how to make the report. I can’t write like this, “I condemn those handymen coz they cough everytime I pass them by.” What kinda law will be used to condemn them? Law for unpleasant action? That’s rubbish. Indonesian lawyers call it “pasal karet”.

Gosh..it really annoys me to pass by the renovated house alone. I don’t wanna make anybody cough, I’m not a vector of germs. Shall I report them to the police? Instead of unpleasant action, I’d rather report my suspicious mind that they have massal tuberculosis. So they may get treated.

(It’s not right. I shouldn’t report them to police. I shoulda report them to CDC..)

*CDC = Centre for Disease Control, institution which is responsible to quarantine people with communicating disease

Confession of A Turned-On Prayer

Once upon a time a little girl asked to her elder sister, “Sister, why shouldn’t we pray at the front of men?”

The elder sister answered her, “Coz men should lead women, instead the contrary.”

Then the little girl said, “But I’ve got a problem with that.”

“What’s your problem?” asked the elder sister.

“Each time I pray and look at the back of the man who prays at the front of me, it turns me on.”

***

That explains why each mushalla or mosque should be given a kinda curtain to separate men and women. People often blames on women as the source of sex appeal, but actually men often becomes the sex appeal for women. And it even happens while praying at the house of God.

Photo by William Sebastian, about Sholat Ied at Sunda Kelapa Harbour, Jakarta. Scanned from National Geographic Indonesia, December ’08.

Once upon a time my cousin came up with her boyfriend for slumber party at my house. My mom prepared a room for my cousin’s boyfriend. No, not a bedroom, coz my small house made that man should sleep at the couch. But we prepared a small room for my cousin’s boyfriend to pray.

I told my mom, why should bother? Why didn’t just let him praying in girls’ room instead, I didn’t mind that my cousin’s boyfriend entering my room if he just wanna pray.

But my mom said no. Said my mom, don’t let my cousin pray with her boyfriend only. Coz, they were unmarried yet.

I was confused, where the correlation between praying with boyfriend and related like a husband and a wife was. For me, it was just about two people praying together instead. And accidentally, they were in a relationship.

But then, I remember, my mom never prays with another man, except with her dad or with my dad. Even when she goes to a public mosque, she never prays following another man’s prayer, if the formation only takes two. I’m sure, this lesson ain’t written in any pages in our Holy Book, this is just a kinda private ethic code.

Though we all know, that praying together, cost rewards much more than praying alone.

How about you? Do you pray with your unmarried sweetheart?